We Are Never Upset for the Reason We Think
I wrote a newsletter some ten years ago on this very subject and it is a topic that comes up again and again.
Some time after I wrote that newsletter, I was visiting a friend in her office out in the Central West and I saw the newsletter pinned to her noticeboard. I commented that it was an old one and she replied “It’s up there because it’s a message I need to read and re-read”.
Those of you who have done the two-day course, “The Centre Within” with me, will recall that I talk about Jerry Jampolsky’s book “Love Is Letting Go of Fear”. It was one of the first books I read when I started on this journey some 35 years ago – and it is a book I constantly go back to.
“I am Never Upset for the Reason I Think” is one of the twelve chapters/lessons in Dr. Jampolsky’s book and it carries an invaluable message.
Everyone at some time in life has been ‘upset’ by something that has happened, or someone has ‘done something’ that has affected their life and living.
We may have felt frustration, anger, disappointment, confusion, disillusionment, or felt let down. What we tend to do is blame the other person or the situation for the way we feel.
We know that we own our reactions (hark back to last year’s April newsletter). We aren’t upset because of what someone has said or done to us. We are upset because we have learned to react that way. Something has happened in the past and we have reacted in a particular way. And now something similar has happened, or a similar comment has been made, and because we reacted that way in the past, we react in the same way now.
The problem is the blame – ‘laying blame’ is rampant in our society. It’s always ‘someone else’s fault’ or we go into the ‘if only’ or the ‘what if’ messages.
The solution is Personal Responsibility and it’s a big one!
Personal Responsibility: A Change in Attitude
I believe most of life is about Choice. Granted, there are things that seem to be inevitable – things over which we do not have control. But most of life we choose.
We choose by our thoughts and words (here’s that line again) WE BECOME WHAT WE THINK ABOUT. I believe we create our own reality.
1. Personal Responsibility comes from the inside and moves to the outside world. We begin by taking responsibility for our thoughts, our choices and our reactions. Only then can we be responsible for the situations we create in our world.
2. We have Free Will – what a gift this is! But it carries great responsibility.
3. Every choice we make has an end result (cause & effect). Every choice can be a benefit or it can bring harm. Every choice has consequences.
4. When we think someone else is responsible for our problems and their solutions – there is the first problem we need to solve.
5. Today (right now) is the best time to accept, change, develop, fix – whatever is right for you, and whatever works for you.
To me, life is pretty simple. Things are going to happen, life is going to throw you some “curved balls”. If you follow what I see are ‘basic rules’, life works well, and life is a joy!
Where you can, be happy (and there are going to be challenges!) but above all, make sure your days are full of Love and Laughter. Happy month.
