“Hang on”, you might say, “Isn’t part of what you teach in your workshops setting goals and achieving what you want in life?” It sure is. Goals and dreams are wonderful things to work towards, but when we have expectations of what should happen, when it should happen and how it should happen, we are often trying to work with things over which we have no control.

Your goals and your dreams are all yours, but be careful that you don’t attach them to your Self Esteem, to your self worth.

If we see the realisation of our goals as a way to be accepted, to be ‘worthy’ of other people’s approval, we are not being true to ourselves. We are looking outside of ourselves for that “OK’ness”.

Similarly, in our relationships with other people, in both the workplace and in our personal lives, if we have an expectation of others we can set ourselves up for great disappointment.

Remember, we have all been raised differently with many rights and wrongs and many goods and bads. There are, in fact, very few rights and wrongs and goods and bads, but there are very effective ways of doing things. (Lots of practical tools that “The Centre Within” teaches.) We all see situations from our own coloured perspective, given our knowledge, training, maturity, awareness and a host of other variables.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if everyone did things the way we wanted? “If only he/she/they would do whatever….” Guess what? It may not happen. You can’t change people; they will change only if they choose to.

Put your time and energy into the things over which you have control. By all means, negotiate, communicate ‘unarmed’, put forward your ideas, etc. Do what you can that is positive. If there is nothing else you can do, then accept “What Is”.

• Make sure you are working with “The Real You”, that you are in touch with the person inside who has a great handle on what he/she really wants.
• Having Good Self Esteem means having humility, a quiet “OK’ness”, an acceptance and awareness of Self.
• Good Self Esteem is the single most important factor in achieving anything in life. It all begins with liking who we really are – a remarkable human being capable of doing so many things. Good Self Esteem means loving ourselves unconditionally.
• It also means we are willing to love and accept others unconditionally. One of the worst things we can do is to sit in judgement on other people. That guarantees lowering our Self Esteem and bringing ourselves down.
• Every one of us was born OK, we have always been OK and will always be OK. Some of our behaviour may not have been ideal, but we have all done things we wish we hadn’t. So we learn, recognise we are not our behaviour, we accept ourselves as we are and we move on.

With your Dreams and Goals, use the Affirmation process. Speak and see your desired end results.

I said this in my last newsletter, but here it is again: “When your beliefs change and your beliefs match your wants and desires, then they will become your reality.” But please…ditch those Expectations.

Here’s to a stunning year ahead. May it be full of much Love and Laughter