TO HANG ONTO…OR TO LET GO?
I have never been into new year resolutions but each year I take stock of the past 12 months and consider what things worked well (I pat myself on the back for those) and what things didn’t go so well (and I give myself correction: “Mmm…next time I’ll do better!”). Remember the daily “Life Cycle” that The Centre Within teaches? Same idea.
From there, it’s a case of what do I want to change, what things do I want to discard that no longer serve me; then, “What do I want for the new year and beyond?” So I come up with a list and I set my goals.
Maintaining Happiness is always on my goal list and I ask myself, “What am I hanging onto that may be stopping that ongoing Happiness?”.
In my research, the word “clinging” came up a lot! So what are we clinging onto?
Possibly:
- Old habits, patterns and routines.
- A perfect idea of how we ‘should be’.
- Our daily comforts.
- A ‘something-other-than-positive’ attitude.
- The security of enough money coming in.
- Not so good reminders from the past.
- Our next holiday from our work.
- Pleasing others.
- The ‘someday’ idea: when I retire, when I get that great job, when an uncomfortable event passes.
We know that relationships determine our well-being rather than material things. That means the depth of relationships, not the quantity. (And if we haven’t learned that one go back to the beginning of the game!)
From British author and speaker Sir Ken Robinson, “Happiness is not a material state, it is a spiritual state.” (Check out Sir Ken’s TED Talks. He was a man of great wisdom.)
I found the quote below from Buddhist monk Ajahn Chah. Letting go, truly letting go, is the key.
Here’s a worthwhile exercise. I have found this to be very helpful.
Go back to the times when you were the happiest. Take some time out to wander through your mind and recall those joyous times throughout your life. What are your happiest memories?
Each of us will have a different list of course, but, you will find, the common factor here is that all of those happy times were ‘in the present’.
There were no external attachments that influenced our happiness, we were simply engulfed in the joy of being in the ‘now’.
Some points to remember that will help in maintaining our ongoing Happiness:
- Gratitude isn’t just a positive. It helps us to keep focussed (something that is often tricky to keep in our society). Daily Gratitude strengthens the brain; what you practise reinforces your positive mindset.
- The ancient Stoics were adamant: we suffer when we fight what we can’t control; this steals our attention. Putting our time and energy into things and events that we can control is essential for our ongoing wellbeing and happiness.
- Positive emotional states are physiological. These include: lowered cortisol (the stress hormone), a better immune system, quicker recovery in healing. Our positive thoughts signal physical chemistry.
- Joy and Happiness come from various activities that trigger our ongoing feel-goods: physical movement, being in nature, participation in the arts in its many forms; achieving small rewards and goals that reinforce our well spent efforts.
For me, Happiness is an ongoing practice. Letting go completely may bring us complete Happiness, but for most of us, Happiness comes and goes. It is a ‘work in progress’.
Here’s to a happy and joyous year ahead full of adventures. Love and Laughter always.
