“FORGIVENESS IS THE KEY TO HAPPINESS”
This is one of the 12 lessons in Jerry Jampolsky’s book “Love is Letting Go of Fear” – the first positive thinking book I read when I did my very first “The Centre Within” course with Bert Weir in 1983. I am still referring to the book 40 years later in my own workshops. A great read!
I am running my “Happiness is an Inside Job” workshop next Sunday here in Pittsworth. Part of our ongoing Happiness means practising Forgiveness and that will certainly be part of the workshop next week.
I was going through my old newsletters over the Christmas break (I’m putting together some of my 98 newsletters into a book – watch this space!) and I found my last newsletter that was all about the importance of Forgiveness was in July 2012. Yikes!
I never duplicate my newsletters to my emailing list, (I do print some old newsletters off for my workshop attendees) but I think it’s about time for a reminder of how important Forgiveness is.
Can I start by saying Forgiveness is not always easy and it can take some time and effort to achieve? Sometimes the thought of Forgiveness can be more painful than the wound itself. The truth is, there is no peace or happiness without Forgiveness.
It can be easy to hold a grudge, when trust is shattered and great pain is felt. Anger, frustration and confusion follow, possibly leading to resentment and that is when the real damage can be done to our wellbeing. We can fall into the fateful Three Rs cycle. And we know, it is the feelings of Resentment that can lead to further pain and illness.
A quick recap on the Three Rs:
Resentment is re-thinking, re-feeling over and over and over again;
Resistance is resisting the fact that there is any other way of looking at it;
Revenge is any form of retaliation, it can be gossip, manipulation etc.
It is a guaranteed destructive cycle.
Remember, forgiving the other person is not denying their responsibility in whatever was said or done, nor does it diminish our feelings of pain and anger. We can still forgive the other person without making light of their behaviour.
How Forgiveness helps You:
Consider the following:
- The fact of what has happened – how you felt, how you reacted and what effect it has had on your life and your well being.
- Remember that when you are in a state of anger or hurt or resentment, you may be letting the other person have power of you. Make sure you are not giving over your Personal Power to their actions.
- Be aware of not falling into the Victim role. Being a victim robs you of your true self. Take charge of who you are and stand firm. Make sure you keep close to those who will give you empathetic support.
The benefits of Forgiveness can include:
- less stress, less anxiety, less hostility
- lowered blood pressure
- healthier relationships – with everyone
- a feeling of greater mental well being
- an uplifted spirit
- fewer symptoms of depression
- less likelihood of relying on alcohol/drugs/etc
- being happier and laughing more
- being more fun to live with.
Firstly, decide that you are going to truly forgive. Use the affirmation process: “I now release and forgive….” Write down your feelings on a sheet of paper, pages and pages if you have to, then burn them all. It takes practice and more practice, but it it is so worth it for your greater wellbeing.
Love and Laughter everyone,
